"As for those who grieve over Zion, God has sent me to give them a beautiful crown in exchange for ashes. To anoint them in victory, joy, and praise instead of depression and sadness. People will call them magnificent like great towering trees standing for what was right. They stand to the glory of the Eternal who planted them."(Isaiah 61:3 voice translation)
About seven years after my parents got married they decided they wanted to have children. But the doctors kept telling my mom that she wasn't going to be able to have children because she had a certain medical condition that prevented her from having a child. This was really hard news on my mom because she so desperately wanted to have a family.
My mom was such a strong woman of faith. When the world told her that it was impossible to have children, she took her deepest sadness and pain to Jesus in prayer. She asked him to consider the deepest desire of her heart. But the answer didn't come suddenly, it was a couple of years after that moment with the doctors that she had to continually learn to put her trust and faith in God in this area of her life. The way that my mom did this was that she brought every part of her heart and soul to God in prayer. She prayed about everything, laying down every thought and emotion that she was feeling in his hands so that he could make something new out of her longsuffering and heal her broken heart.
I'm sure there were times when my mom looked at her circumstances and felt just like I have and think that God was never going to answer the prayer that I have been praying for healing and restoration in my longsuffering. That God was never going to take her sadness and pain and trade it for a beautiful crown and a garment of praise. There were days when I'm sure that my mom just felt like the grief and pain that she was going through was too large of a weight to carry. And on those especially hard days, when it seemed like there didn't seem to be any hope or major breakthroughs or miracles that were happening that she could see with her physical eyes, those were the days that she clung to the words of the truth of God and to prayer the most. She knew that God was hearing her prayers and that none of her pain and suffering would be wasted. And while she was spending those couple of years in prayer, God was working behind the scenes to give her exactly what she was asking for in his timing.
One Sunday, after those couple of years had passed, my parents went to visit a Pentecostal church. During the worship service the pastor gave my parents a prophecy. Without knowing what they were praying and believing God for, the pastor asked them to stand up. This was the first time my parents had visited this church so the pastor didn't know anything about their story or what they were praying for at the time. So they stood up and when they did the pastor told them that God wanted to tell them that what they had been praying for was on the way. And it was coming quickly. Three days after that my mom became pregnant with me.
Three years after I was born, my mom became pregnant again with my brother Immanuel. But my mom ended up miscarrying Immanuel because the umbilical cord wrapped itself around his neck so he wasn't able to get the nutrients he needed to grow. This miscarriage was extremely hard on my parents. My mom and dad both were in extreme pain and grief over this. And it was even harder for them because they had already bonded with the person that God was forming in the womb. It was even harder on my mom because it was a late term miscarriage, so she still had to give birth to the baby's body. And for a long while she felt heavy grief and sadness. And even in her grief and sadness, she took her thoughts and emotions and circumstances to God in prayer. She laid it down at his feet so that he could pick up the pieces of her shattered heart and bring healing and restoration to her family.
Now this is the point of the story that I want you to pay really close attention to. This is my favorite part of the story. This is the part where God restored her broken heart and created something new and beautiful from my parents' ashes. This is where he gave my mom and dad the most amazing miracle that they could have ever received from God. Pay close attention because this next part is such an amazing testimony. Something only God could do.
The day that my mom miscarried Immanuel was on Good Friday. But then God did the most amazing thing and gave her my brother, Will who was born exactly a year later. Will was born on Easter weekend as well, but he was born on Holy Saturday which is the day before Easter, the day that Jesus went down to Hell and took the keys of death out of Satan's hands. I love this part of the story because to me it shows how God had brought healing to my family.
He had taken my parent's pain and their prayers and made an entirely new creation. This was an act of God's goodness and restoration over my family. It continues to amaze me how much God loves us. Not only does he save us by his saving grace through the resurrection of Jesus, but he also restores us. Every part of us. Every piece of our shattered hearts and makes them new. I believe that God wanted both of my brothers to be born around Easter time because he wanted to show his life giving power to the world.
These two miracles were so amazing. And even these miracles are way more than enough to give God the praise and the glory for, but being that God is such a great father he gave my mom two more gifts. The other part of my mom's prayer to God was to have not only children, but children who would love the Lord with all of their hearts. God showed my mother his faithfulness in this area by sending people who prophesied over my brother and I. The Lord spoke words of life over our destinies as children of God. One of my great aunts, who was a mighty woman of God prophesied over me when I was born and told my parents that he put the joy of the Lord in my heart and that I would be like a ray of sunshine wherever I went. When I say that he put the joy of the Lord in my heart, I am not exaggerating. He literally wove his joy into my dna. Anywhere that my mom went after I was born people would come all over from the ends of the building just to experience the joy God had put in me as a baby.
The person who had prophesied over my brother also had a very strong and deep faith in God. This person told my mom that my brother was going to be like a strong oak tree and his roots were going to be deeply planted and would not be shaken. This person also prophesied that Will was going to follow the way that he was taught and he would not stray from it. To this day, even after my mom has passed, Will has continued to follow what my mom had taught us as children about the word of God and to follow God's ways and to love the Lord with all of our hearts. Even at the young age of 18 he has already begun to fulfill this destiny that God has spoken over his life. He has stood firm on what the Bible says and has bared witness to his friends at school about what the truth of God is. He has a deep desire to go to church and draw closer to God. What I love about this story is that I can see God doing a good work in him. My brother is just like me, a living testimony of my mother's deep faith. And he and I will continue to testify to the goodness and love of God everywhere we go in this lifetime, both in our words and our actions. Just as my mother had done.
There is one last gift that I want to talk about that God has given my mother. This gift was not given to her on earth, but was given to her in Heaven when she went home last summer. My mom was given the gift of being reunited with her son, my brother Immanuel. What an amazing gift, that God has restored every aspect of my mom's pain. She was given two beautiful children to stay with her on earth to heal her broken heart and saved her son Immanuel so that she would get the opportunity to raise him in the perfect love and presence of God in Heaven. And one day we will all be reunited together as a family either in Heaven or when Jesus comes back to rule the earth. The Lord restored her joy and gave her a garment of praise and a crown of beauty when she went to Heaven that day. Making her complete and new.
Why do I tell this story? Because I believe God can bring restoration to your broken heart and can use your pain and grief to make something new. And in that newness God will trade your pain for a crown of beauty and will give you a garment of praise made of joy and victory so that the whole world can see that God is good. He wants to show you his goodness and love today. He wants to heal your heart and bring you the joy and the victory over all your circumstances. All you have to do is lay down your brokenness in his hands by releasing your pain to God in prayer and standing firm on the words of God's truth from the Bible.
Dear Lord, thank you for making all things new. I place all my pain and sorrow in your hands so that you can make something new. I ask that you help me to cling to the words of truth found in your word and to draw near to you in prayer through all things. You are such a good father. This day I lay down my ashes at your feet and I ask that you help me to receive the garment of praise and the crown of beauty that you want to clothe me in for your glory and so that others can see your goodness and love as well. In Jesus name, amen.
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